The New Daily Grind

Practicing tummy time at school during Mommy's first day back at work. She's getting closer and closer to sucking just her thumb (rather than her whole hand). My happy girl, on Monday, during her first full day of school.

It's been a whirlwind these past 3 days. On Wednesday I returned to work, and despite impeccable planning and preparing absolutely every possible thing the night before, the morning was still pretty rocky. For starters, Charlotte wasn't ready to wake up yet and kept falling asleep as I tried to nurse her. Then she spit up all over her school outfit as Chris was dressing her, so we had to redo that. Then she fussed throughout the morning (understandably, considering that we had interrupted her beauty sleep), demanding more time and attention.

The worst part, however, was the dreaded drop-off at day care/school. I gave her about 400 kisses and stroked her little cheeks until Chris finally dragged me away. By the time we were in the parking lot, I had reached full-blown sobs.

Since Chris was driving (and not me, seeing as how I wouldn't have managed to pull out of the day care parking lot), I actually made it into the office. Although I was deeply annoyed that a book I had damn near killed myself on prior to maternity leave (and was one big reason my world was chaos and totally unprepared for Charlotte's one-week-early birth) would not be off-press and making it to our annual conference next week, the day went okay. Also, since I'm still breastfeeding, I had to pump mid-day, and this is not a pleasant thing to do in one's office. I closed the door, put up a note, moved a chair in front of the door, and prayed nobody tried to come in. It's just a frickin' hassle.

As a happier part of the day, Charlotte's school sent me the above pictures while I was at work, and it was such a relief to see my happy, smiling girl having fun. By the time we got to the center to pick her up, I gathered Charlotte in my arms and simply did not want to let go. Chris had to peel her away from me to get her into her car seat. Of course I sat in the back of the car and played with her (as much as one can do in a car) until she fell asleep. Even then, I held onto her tiny little hands until we pulled into our driveway.

Day 2 went better than Day 1. I didn't cry this time, but I definitely still sat in the backseat with her during the drive home at the end of the day. By Friday, the morning routine had already grown old--two hours of trying to get Charlotte and myself out the door by 6:45 a.m. with all the stuff both of us need for the day is stressful. I'm tempted to nix the morning feeding because I think she'd rather sleep and it takes so long, but I hesitate to allow her to lose that mommy-Charlotte time. I'm trying to get her down to sleep for the night earlier so she'll wake up ealier (I know, how dare I complain about a baby sleeping through the night?), but by the time we get home from work, Chris and I play with Charlotte for just a little bit, she has her bath, and I give her her last feeding for the night, it's around 8:00. Then Chris and I have a quick dinner and drowsily shuffle upstairs to go to bed ourselves. Then it begins again the next morning.

My mood is also dampened by a workbag full of book chapters and work to get through this weekend. I've promised myself that Charlotte gets top priority on nights and weekends, not books that eventually go out of print, and so far all that work has been neglected and is still in my workbag. Good for Charlotte, bad for me come Monday.

I guess we do the best we can. Every single little thing might not be up to par, but we're learning to prioritize. Charlotte tops my priority list, followed by making sure Chris is happy. At the moment, Charlotte is contentedly asleep in her crib after a morning full of playing and snuggling, and Chris knows that I think he's the greatest guy in the world and that I adore him.

So far, so good.