Something To Talk About

One of my darling husband’s quirks is that he talks in his sleep. He appears completely lucid but makes zero sense. Usually Chris is cranky and annoyed when he talks in his sleep, which is generally how I know he’s not really awake. But last night he threw me a curve ball by being a jolly, good-natured sleep-talker. At around 2:00 a.m., while I was sitting up in bed feeding Charlotte, Chris, appearing quite awake, turned over and gave me a dashing smile, announcing, “I need to fix your Florida.” “Huh?” I replied. “I need to fix your Florida,” he repeated. “What’s a Florida?” I asked, starting to suspect Chris Hofmann was not currently among the conscious. Chris rolled his eyes with an amused look—like I was the dolt at the moment. “Florida is a state,” he emphasized. “We need to fix yours.” At this point I started laughing because Chris appeared SO AWAKE. He was smiling and so incredibly sincere in his gibberish. “So my Florida is broken, huh?” I said. Chris sighed impatiently. “No, formula. I need to fix formula.” Oh. Well, this made a little more sense. “Because I got formula on Charlotte’s Florida!” Chris finished, as though this final statement would surely clarify everything. I tried not to laugh and decided to just play along. “Okay, love. I’ll put a new Florida on Charlotte when I’m finished.” Satisfied, Chris drowsily nodded and drifted back to (normal) sleep. Charlotte, meanwhile, had watched this entire exchange with bright, wide eyes. I could almost see her thinking, These are the nuts who are going to raise me?