What a Zoo

Looking at the cows at the zoo. Yep, we came all the way to DC to see animals we could see in our own fair town.

Charlotte's first metro ride.

Today we went on Charlotte’s first school field trip to the National Zoo in DC. Because infants need a one-to-one baby/chaperone ratio, Chris and I were shamed into chaperoning. Although I appreciate the school including infants in the field trip, babies need naps and feedings—and come on, do they really care that they’re at the zoo? But Chris and I didn’t want to be pegged as disinterested, bad parents, and hey, Charlotte might have fun, so we decided to make it work. And believe me, we had to MAKE it work. Nothing happens easily anymore, I’m learning. Because I had just returned to work, Chris arranged to take some vacation time this morning. However, he’s absolutely slammed at work, had a meeting with the CFO scheduled later today, and the logistics of me telecommuting then going all the way to DC to pick up Charlotte to save Chris some drive time all got too complicated. Yesterday, I agreed I’d go along too so I could bring Charlotte back home. (It's actually more confusing and screwed up than that, but believe me, dear reader, you don't care about our scheduling dilemmas.) My boss let me get creative with my schedule, and I worked past 10:00 p.m. last night to get our bimonthly journal’s blue lines finished and buy a couple hours to blow on the zoo trip. Charlotte couldn’t ride on the bus with the big kids (it’s illegal for her not to be in a car seat), so we drove to Friendship Heights, parked at GEICO, and then Charlotte experienced her very first metro trip. (We were too cheap to spend $20 for zoo parking, hence the metro hoopla.) And it rained. While my hair frizzed into a giant mass, we eventually made it into the zoo, and Charlotte started really fussing. It was time for her next feeding. I wanted to find someplace covered to give her a bottle so she didn’t get wet, but the best we could find was outside a stinky bathroom with oodles of screaming, running, and jumping kids. Pushing the stroller through the throngs of children was its own fun game, and when I finally reached the bench to sit and feed Charlotte, I told Chris that I didn't think I particularly cared for children. After Charlotte was full and satisfied, we finally met up with the rest of her school chums. Then I felt something wet, but I couldn’t really see what it was. “Chris, look at Charlotte’s bottom. Is that wet stuff what I think it is?” “Dunno. But it’s definitely wet.” "[Swear word.]" “Yeah, and there’s no changing table in the men’s restroom. I already checked. ” He grinned at me. “Which means you have diaper duty.” So I had the pleasure of hauling Charlotte into an overcrowded bathroom. But I couldn’t see a changing table in here either! Fortunately, I found a big wooden chest and decided to make that into a changing table, figuring that if the zoo police didn’t like it, they could have a dirty diaper thrown in their faces. So Charlotte was screaming her head off and crying, I was struggling to hold her on top of the chest so she wouldn't fall while I got out the necessary diaper, wipes, and so on, and all these school kids were simply mesmerized by our little scene. The twerps just stared. Well, Charlotte was still screaming, and I didn’t have the luxury of waiting for them to leave. I went ahead and let them ogle. I whipped off her diaper (oh, thank goodness--only wet!), slapped on a clean dry one, and threw the dirty diaper into a Ziploc. Then I dug around the diaper bag for a pair of clean pants for Charlotte and . . . Uh oh. I had packed a short-sleeved body suit—and no back-up pants. “I’m sorry, Charlotte,” I moaned as I put her damp ones back on (it was too cold to let her go bare-legged). The wet spot was pretty small, but I still felt bad about it. FINALLY we emerged from the bathroom. Apparently I looked like I was about to cry because Chris asked with annoying perkiness, “Having fun yet?” “I hate field trips,” I responded. The rain let up and we were able to start exploring the zoo. And really, the National Zoo kind of sucks. There’s not much there to see. But hey, the price is right (i.e., FREE). And kids were everywhere—even Charlotte’s teacher was surprised by the number of people. It was chaos.

We saw some animals and did the zoo thing. Finally, we decided to skip the free-for-all lunchtime at the cafeteria with the rest of the school, choosing instead to eat lunch at a trendy little Thai restaurant in Cleveland Park. Fortunately, Charlotte cooperated and didn’t fuss while Chris and I ordered our standby Thai favorites and two beers. “After today, I think I’m too emotionally scarred to ever chaperone another field trip,” Chris said, taking a swig of his beer. I agreed, but I figured that if every field trip ended with Thai food and beer, I could learn to at least tolerate them. After another metro ride and jaunt back to GEICO, I picked up the car (Chris and I had driven in separately) and brought Charlotte home. One nursing and “Please, please, please just go to sleep so Mommy can get some work done” later, I was online, trying to catch up on my work emails. All in all, an exhausting day and I’m more behind at work now than ever (a fact I'm ignoring by posting this blog). But I have to admit, it was nice spending a day with Chris and Charlotte, getting some fresh air, and having the luxury holding my baby girl right smack in the middle of the day. I realized that maybe we had to be forced into a field trip to do something together as a family that had no other purpose than showing Charlotte something new and being together.

Still, I'm eternally grateful that the zoo trip is only once per year.