Lend Me an Ear

Rocking, rocking, rocking. All through the night(s).

A smarter woman would be in bed right now, or at the very least doing laundry, rather than blogging. Apparently I’m a bit short of wisdom at the moment, but Charlotte had a long coughing fit that blasted into my ear via the baby monitor at 4:19 a.m. Miraculously, she decided not to wake up for good.

I, however, woke up for good, both from the noise and worry. I debated returning to sleep, but I realized that if I got up now, I might have a whole hour to myself before returning to the sick-baby-care marathon. And that was enough to get me out of bed.

Just when we get too-smugly into our routine and hit a nice stride in work–life balance, or whatever you want to call it, Charlotte reminds us that our world operates according to her whim. Or, to be more exact, her immune system. I swear we don’t have one of those wimpy, sickly kids. We really don’t. Charlotte is a tough, perky little girl—so much so that we often miss early cues that she doesn’t feel so hot. Then, when she gets sick, our lives become logistical, sleep-deprived, emotionally draining nightmares. We don’t have family nearby to help out. Our little family of three has to sort out everything by ourselves. So we do. On Monday night, Charlotte woke up around 10:30 with a fever and very labored, rapid breathing—scary, right? We counted her breaths, which were in the “acceptable” range. After a loooooooong night, I took her to the pediatrician first thing in the morning. The verdict? Two ear infections and bronchiolitis. Awesome. Tuesday night, Charlotte was up every hour, inconsolable unless she was in Mommy’s arms, snuggled against her chest. Although I wholeheartedly ascribe to cry-it-out and such, I’m also squarely in the it’s-impossible-to-spoil-a-sick-child camp. So I climbed into the guest bed and let Charlotte sleep literally on top of me. If she came off for whatever reason during the night, she would groggily climb back on, lay her head back on my chest, and, with a thumb suck or two, she’d fall asleep again. And she was only content if ALL 25 pounds of her was on me. Not just her head, or an arm. All of her. Needless to say, another night with no sleep (for me, that is) didn’t exactly fortify me for a day of sick-baby care. I struggled with her taking (and keeping down) the antibiotics, a nap strike until afternoon, and then a poopy explosion (thanks, amoxicillin!) that had me holding her under the tub faucet for a major rinse and second bath. Followed by, of course, another night not sleeping as Charlotte slept in my arms. On Thursday, I groggily went into the office while Chris stayed home. As soon as I could, I rushed home to relieve one very stressed dad (and perhaps walking through the door with a “Now do you appreciate my maternity leave?”) The pediatrician, however, is a bit concerned that Charlotte’s temperature is still hanging around and her congestion/coughing isn’t getting any better. If she doesn’t improve over the weekend, we have to put her on a stronger antibiotic that apparently is guaranteed to upset her tummy. I sooooooo want to avoid that. I’m a bit frustrated that Charlotte gets these normal bugs and her little body takes them to such extremes. The abscess that involved the hospital stay? The theory is that the whole horrid thing started with the stomach flu she got at daycare. And now, instead of a bit of a cold or a little ear infections, we have complications from her cold in having both ears infected AND bronchiolitis. Oh, and the infections are resisting penicillin. Are you kidding me? So I spent yesterday (Friday) at home, again, and tried to get work done in between Charlotte-cling sessions. Believe me, you don’t know fun until you’re pacing the kitchen, still in your bathrobe and holding a coughing, fussy 25-pound kid while trying to sound intelligent on a conference call for work. Toys that make sounds and music really added to the professionalism, I’m sure. I let Charlotte sleep in my arms for her naps today, including her 2-hour nap. Her little body needed sleep so badly, and this was the only way to accomplish it. Fortunately, I had had the foresight to put my Kindle within arm’s reach, so I managed to rock my baby and entertain myself just fine. Of course, I kept getting distracted by marveling at what a beautiful, beautiful baby Chris and I made. There’s nothing like holding a sleeping baby in your arms. Nothing. Charlotte’s temperature hovered around 99 to 100 degrees today, so we’re cautiously optimistic that we’re making progress. Like I said, we really REALLY want to avoid a second, harsher round of antibiotics. In the meantime, our girl is tough as nails. She’s trying so hard to be perky and playful, but she feels so crappy that it’s hard for her. She still laughs at our funny faces, or “chats” in her babbly Charlotte way. But we certainly miss the old, healthy, positively joyful Charlotte. We want her back!